Once You Go Fat, You Never Go Back

Where, oh, where have all of the great pleasantly plump comedians gone?  Oh yeah, overdose, heart failure, overdose, and heart failure.  Maybe that is the natural progression of the fat entertainer nowadays.  One can only hope that the trend continues with Cedric "The Entertainer"--quickly.

With that in mind, I think it's high time that someone paid homage to the great fat movie characters of our time.  I had to have one perameter though: Only one movie role per actor, otherwise John Candy and Rodney Dangerfield would comprise my whole list.  Here are some of my personal favorites:

10.) Mike Engleberg The Bad News Bears
He's the glue that held that infield together back in '76.  So what if he gets a little chocolate on the ball?  Or steals Olgilvie's hamburger.  And just ignore the fact that he can't button up his jersey.  Engleberg is the shit!

9.)  Chunk  The Goonies
I have three words for you--The Truffle Shuffle!

8.)  Chubby  Teen Wolf
Oliver Miller would have loved to have his FG % and body type for that matter.  Granted, there was no jump in his jump shot and his defense was suspect at best, but he was an integral part of that championship game!

7.)  Alan  The Hangover
The man looks like "Fat Jesus," is totally inapropriate at times, and is a complete idiot, but I love him!

6.)  Seth  Superbad
The similarities are eerie between high school me and Seth; we're both fat, we both loved Richard Pryor, and we both loved a good vagtastic voyage.  You have to hand it to him, it is a flawless high school plan. 

5.)  Bluto  Animal House
It may be redundant to have him on the blog again, but he was that classic!

4.)  Fat Bastard  Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
The man sure is passionate about his dumps!

3.)  Tommy Callahan  Tommy Boy
Seven years in college?  (Sounds like someone that I know.)  The late Chris Farley was utterly fantastic in this role. And who wouldn't want to do this to a skinny friend? 

2.)  Del Griffith  Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
He's annoying.  He has some foot odor issues and talks a whole lot.  But he is a hell of a salesman and does anyone do The Mess Around any better?

1.) Thornton Melon  Back to School
The man is amazing.  He's a millionare.  He can still drink like a fish.  He can have intelligent political conversations.  He throws great parties.  And, remarkably, he's still in great shape for a fat guy!