Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold

Whoever coined the phrase "Living well is the best revenge," must never have had the pleasure of sprinkling a teaspoon of revenge on their corn flakes in the morning.  As many of you are aware, I'm a huge advocate of spite and all things that are inherently spiteful.  For me, there is nothing more satisfying than to see some jackass get exactly what they have coming to them.

So, in light of that, here are a few of my favorite revenge flicks:

The Crow (1994)
This one has always been one of my favorite revenge flicks, even though it has its flaws--the writing isn't always that sharp, and the movie is a bit on the dark side (literally speaking, sometimes the cinematography is way too dark).  With that being said, I love the story, the action sequences are great, and most importantly, everyone gets what's coming to them.

Man On Fire (2004)
Definitely an action/revenge flick with some heart, along with a lot of teeth. The story is fantastic with a twist here and there to keep the viewer on their toes. MOF sports a very solid cast of Denzel Washington, Mickey Rourke, Christopher Walken, Dakota Fanning, Radha Mitchell, and even a surprisingly believeable Marc Anthony (Mr. Jennifer Lopez). Denzel is at the top of his game here, which is perfectly illustrated in my favorite scene of the movie.  Now that's the way you get even!  Even Tony Scott's always annoying quick cut directing style cannot derail this great film.

Lucky Number Slevin (2006)
Hands down the biggest sleeper of the bunch, but a fantastic revenge flick nevetheless.  It's part dark comedy, part love story, but mostly just a finely crafted retribution flick--Kansas City Shuffle, anyone?  How's this for a cast--Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Josh Hartnett, Lucy Liu, Stanley Tucci, and one of my personal favorites, Mykelti Williamson (aka "Bird" from Wildcats).  The movie has it all--great script, fantastic actors, and lots of quality action sequences!  It's a sleeper but definitely worth your time if you haven't seen it.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Do I even need to insult your intelligence by going through all of its merits?  This one is probably my favorite movie of all-time.  Although it is not a classic shoot-em up revenge type film, it still manages to dole out enough satisfaction for all parties involved, doesn't it? Boggs gets his, Hadley too, and even Warden Norton gets payed back in spades.  But the film's real achievment is that Red and Andy get exactly what they deserve, as well.  The movie is perfect--outstanding story, exceptional acting, and a fantastic ending.

Sin City (2005)
I had absolutely zero expectations going into this one, and even if I did have any going in, it still would have blown them away.  This is one of the most creative and visually stunning movies that has ever been made.  This film marked the comeback of Mickey Rourke and oh, what a return it is!  Marv is one of the toughest movie characters ever imagined--he could probably tear John Matrix in half and use Rambo as toilet paper.  Also pitching in great performances are Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Benicio Del Toro, Powers Boothe, Rosario Dawson, Michael Clarke Duncan, Carla Gugino, Josh Hartnett, and the always lovely Jessica Alba.  I'm still waiting with great anticipation for Sin City 2, which seems like it will never be made.  At the very least, we will always have this masterpiece.

Braveheart (1995)
Speaking of masterpieces. Seriously, if this speech doesn't get your motor going, nothing will!  Enraged by the slaying of his wife at the hands of English soldiers, William Wallace (Mel Gibson) takes on the evil Edward the Longshanks and virtually all of England in order to exact revenge, and to free all of Scotland.  Now that is one pissed off Scotsman!  And how bad ass are the battle scenes in this movie?  They're unbelieveable! Also, the soundtrack is amazing, the authentic battle scenes are crazy good, and the acting is fantastic.  Truly a four star movie!

Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 (2003 & 2004)
Kung-fu movies are not my thing--never have been.  However, it is impossible to ignore the greatness of this movie (I considerate it one movie).  Even though it is broken up into two films for time's sake, I get the definite feeling that I wouldn't have cared less if this one ran 8 hrs.--it's that superb! The story is outstanding, the casting and direction, as with most Tarantino movies, are exceptional, and it is one great scene piled on top of the next great scene! Although they are over the top and meant to be so, the action sequences are some of the very best that I have ever seen.  Tarantino also creates some truly unforgettable characters in this one-- Uma Thurman is outstanding as "The Bride"/Beatrix Kiddo, David Carradine is a perfect Bill, and Michael Madsen, Vivica A. Fox, Darryl Hannah, and Lucy Liu are the perfect double-crossing group of assasains.  If that weren't enough, Go Go Yubari and Pai Mei are tossed into the mix for added flavor. Even the ending has its own unique greatness--STOP SPOILERS AHEAD--it is a gratifying ending to a brilliant film..  It's hard, if not damn near impossible, to make a revenge flick this good, but Tarantino did it.